For Baby's Sake (Harlequin Romance) Page 9

  Dan scowled as if talking about him and her father in the same breath was an insult. “You said he drank a lot?”

  She quickly changed the subject. “I looked at the college catalog you brought me, last night,” she said. “I think I’d like to at least check into starting classes next semester.”

  “Good,” he said enthusiastically, but his voice held a shade of confusion.

  “I realized my father didn’t have a lot of choices about what to do when Mom died when Brad and I were so small. He had hospital bills, funeral expenses. To quit his job and look for another would have left us without an income at a time when he could barely make ends meet.”

  The hand Dan had rested on the table suddenly covered her own. Without thinking, Alicia turned hers over and curled her fingers inside his palm. “Whatever happens, I want you to know how much you giving me some of those choices means to me.”

  For a moment Dan seemed unable to speak, but he hooked his fingers in hers and his grip tightened. “I just want what’s best for our baby,” he said finally.

  “I know, and that’s why I said you were going to be a wonderful father.” She smiled weakly and withdrew her hand. “Our son will be so lucky. He’ll have you and me if I can get a job that allows me to stay in one place. And he’ll have...our families.” Visions of Maggie swam in the back of her head. She took a deep breath as he released one.

  “I’m so relieved you’re considering it,” he said.

  “I’d be a fool not to take advantage of this chance now, before our baby is born. With you paying all my living expenses now, and for the Christmas gifts, this may be the best opportunity I ever have to go ahead with something that will do me a lot of good later on. I really appreciate that chance, Dan. Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me, Allie. I’m thinking of myself. This will benefit me in the long run,” he said quietly.

  She didn’t have to ask “How?” Her face asked for her.

  “If you continue to travel all the time, what’s to keep you around Providence? It’s home for me, but as much as I like it, I would be fooling myself if I thought it would be for you if another place has more to offer. And it would be rather difficult to play long-distance Dad effectively.”

  “But there’s no reason to stay in Providence if I find a good job elsewhere after I have a degree, either,” she pointed out.

  “I know.” The conversation had taken on serious undertones. “But I’m counting on the odds.” He chuckled, but it sounded forced. “Don’t think I won’t have my ears open for the perfect job for you somewhere right in town.”

  “It occurred to me last night that it would be to your advantage to have me gone all the time. If I’m not around, you’re more likely to have a bigger role in our child’s life.”

  “I’ve thought about that,” Dan said somberly, but didn’t share the conclusions he’d come to. “Brad thinks you going back to school is a terrific idea, too,” he reverted. “I figure he’ll have all his feelers out and it will be for a job for you in Providence, too.”

  She tried to match his lighter tone. “Getting Brad to help you gang up on me doesn’t strike me as very fair.”

  “Haven’t you heard, Allie? All’s fair in love and war.” He was very somber again. “Whatever else I’ve promised you, I haven’t promised to play fair.” His wonderful navy eyes glittered and held her gaze until she had to look away. Which was this? she wanted to ask. War, she decided. It couldn’t be love since he’d given that to Maggie. God, why had she even asked herself the question? Why did she have to keep reminding herself.

  He cleared his throat. “Now, who else do we need to get presents for?”

  She withdrew the list they’d made in the car from her purse and crossed out a couple of the names. “That leaves Cindy and your mom—the tough ones.”

  They discussed the merits of the cashmere coat they’d admired a few stores back. “I can’t imagine that your mom wouldn’t love it,” she said. He placed a tip on the table and they rose.

  “Good,” he said. “Then let’s go back and get it.”

  “And I think maybe that little bath shop might be a good place to look for something for Cindy,” Alicia suggested. “She likes lounging in the tub when she gets off work.”

  “That also might be a good place to find things for my staff,” he added as they headed back for the store that had the coats. “Would you help me pick out something for them?”

  She nodded, then realized he’d just asked her to help him pick a present for Maggie. No. He’d asked her to pick out presents for his staff. Sure, he’d give Maggie the same thing he gave everyone else, but it would be a staff gift from an employer.

  The ring on her finger suddenly felt heavy. She glanced at it as he took her arm lightly and escorted her into the store.

  Maggie, the woman, would get something a little more personal from Dan, the man—and that, she was certain, she wouldn’t be asked to help pick.

  CHAPTER SIX

  BY THE time Alicia arrived home from Greenville for good, Dan had a huge tree set up in the living room, decorated with an enormous supply of his grandmother’s ornaments, including several that he and Melanie had made and given her over the years.

  Laura had preparations for Christmas day well in hand, and for Alicia’s benefit, had even asked Brad and Cindy to join them in the traditional feast at noon on Christmas day.

  There was nothing left for Alicia to plan or fix and she let the dreams she’d been nurturing for their first and only Christmas together, slide away into oblivion... where they belonged. It was better this way, she told herself. What good was establishing their own family traditions when the “family” would only last through one Christmas?

  Laura lifted the delicate heirloom crystal that held a fine wine as soon as Dan had blessed their extravagant meal. “To family,” she said, and all around the table murmured their assent. Dan’s eyes caught Alicia’s as he repeated the words.

  Alicia didn’t want to think about family or next Christmas or anything, she decided as she looked around the table. She loved three of the people here, and was well on her way to loving the other two. Laura had so easily opened her heart to include the people her daughter-in-law cared for. Would she expect Alicia and the baby to as graciously accept a changed situation and join them next year? With Maggie sitting here at Dan’s right hand?

  Blessedly, the season sped by in a blur. Alicia used the time to talk to appropriate people at the college and enroll in classes.

  The advisor she’d been assigned—one of the few who was still around during the seasonal break—helped her choose a course of study that would blend nicely with the credits she already had. By spring—if she could manage to enroll full-time—she would graduate with an associates degree in Human Resource Management.

  In mid-January, her classes began. “Are you going to be okay?” Dan asked teasingly as he picked up the umpteenth thing she had dropped on her first morning.

  “I’m just nervous,” she said as he propped himself in the doorway of the kitchen then dodged to catch the half-open can of orange juice that slipped from her hands.

  “I couldn’t tell,” he said ruefully, handing her a towel as he took the opener from her hand. “You get the splatters,” he suggested. “I’ll make the juice.”

  They worked in silence for several moments. “What has you so nervous?” he asked.

  “It’s been years since I went to school,” she said, biting the lip that suddenly started to quiver.

  “And?”

  “And I don’t know if I can do this,” she said. “Not to mention that I’m going to be the oldest person there, and while everyone else is talking about basketball games and dates, I’m going to be walking around campus looking like I’ve stolen the basketball and hid it in my shirt.”

  He laughed.

  “I don’t think it’s all that funny,” she said semi-indignantly.

  He set aside the spoon he’d been stirring the juice with and
caught her to him, damp towel and all.

  “You’re going to—”

  “I’ll change shirts if I need to,” he interrupted her protest and pulled her closer. “I guarantee you, you won’t be the oldest student there. One of my retired patients just started classes last year. He’s old and wrinkled and bald. And he’s doing just fine.”

  “But I’m not doing this just for fun—”

  “Neither is he,” Dan interrupted again. “He’s determined to get a law degree and he’s just getting started. He plans to join his grandson’s practice when he gets out in another six years or so.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “You’ll be fine, Alicia.” He let her go and reached to get glasses from the cabinet. “And that little bulge under that—whatever it is—is a long way from basketball size,” he added.

  “It’s a jumper,” she explained. “And in case you hadn’t noticed, every size lately is temporary. It won’t be long until he’s basketball size.”

  “Good,” he said. “I can hardly wait.”

  She put the toast she’d been buttering on a plate and took the oatmeal from the microwave. She couldn’t think of anything else to whine about and she had to admit—though not to Dan—that she did feel better. At least a little. “Junior’s nervous, too,” she muttered. “He’s been doing flip-flops all night and most of the morning.”

  “Now?” Dan asked, his eyes lighting.

  “No.” She leaned away. “He’s finally settled down.” She wasn’t sure whose disappointment was the keenest, his or her own. She ought to be getting used to the way he reverently laid his hands over her stomach and marveled at their baby’s movements every time he had the chance. And she ought to be growing immune to the very unmotherly way she felt when he touched her with such gentleness. Another four and a half months and it would be over, she kept reminding herself. The exquisite torture would be finished and the real pain would set in. How was she ever going to be able to give him up? She turned her head in order to blink away the ever-present moisture from her eyes as she sat down to the table next to him.

  Maybe you don’t have to, the traitorous voice that seemed always present in her head whispered for the billionth time.

  Yes, I do. She had to bite her tongue to keep from saying it out loud.

  “What’s wrong?” Dan’s teasing tone was gone as he set coffee mugs at each of their places and joined her.

  “I bit my tongue,” she said.

  “Settle down, Mag—I mean, Alicia.” He looked like he would like to chew his own right foot off. “You’re going to be fine.” He patted her hand but didn’t meet her eyes.

  And that settles that argument, she finished the discussion going on in her head.

  Dan was right about the student body at the local junior college. Although more than half the students were exactly as she’d anticipated, at least a third of the students in most of her classes were what the school categorized as “nontraditional.”

  By the fourth week of classes, Alicia wasn’t sure it mattered. Since she found many of the older ones a lot more self-assured, goal-oriented and confident than she felt, they were in some ways intimidating. The students who were becoming her friends were mostly from the traditional category.

  One especially, Rob Atterly, a 20 year old sophomore, was in three out of five of her classes. Between the two on Tuesday and Thursday they often ended up studying in the library or going to lunch together. Being with him, passing sarcastic comments back and forth and being silly made her feel young again. Carefree.

  All in all, Dan’s suggestion that she return to school was turning out to be one of the best things she’d done for herself since...she’d first become engaged to Dan.

  At least that’s what she was thinking as she headed home from class one Friday afternoon in late February. A light snow fell in huge flakes around her car, turning the landscape outside into a softly muted fairyland. With the heat on full-blast, and the radio playing an optimistic, hum-along tune, she felt insulated and warm.

  She let her mind slip to that easygoing, carefree time when Dan had become her whole world. She could dream couldn’t she? In the two and a half to three months until their baby was born, couldn’t she pretend that this bittersweet time in her life was exactly what they had planned and that it would go on forever?

  As if something had to jolt her out of the fantasy, her car began to slide. She tapped her brakes, steered into the skid, and watched helplessly as the car dipped and hovered at the edge of the ditch, then swooped, bumped a couple of times and came to a thudding stop against the fence that lined some farmer’s field.

  Her hands immediately went to her rounded tummy. As if to reassure her that he wasn’t any worse for the erratic ride, she felt the familiar flutter, then a “hey, I’m getting scrunched in here” shove against her ribs.

  “Thank God,” she whispered and realized her lip didn’t move normally. She glanced into the rearview mirror. One side of her upper lip was swelling and the corner of her mouth was bloody. A light blue bruise was beginning to form on the very top of the egg-shaped knot rising on her forehead. She paused to mentally examine herself. She didn’t feel any other lumps or pains anywhere. The blood and the stiff upper lip were from the teeth-shaped small cuts she found on the inside of her mouth with her tongue. She wasn’t sure what she had hit—probably the side window, she decided—but she was glad, both for her sake and the baby’s that she’d been wearing her seat belt.

  That’s what you get for dreaming, the small voice in her head heckled. The bent front fender mocked her from where she sat and she dreaded getting out of the car to survey the total damage.

  And she’d idiotically decided to go “the back way” home so she wouldn’t have to worry about driving in traffic in these conditions. Well, she didn’t have to worry about traffic. She hadn’t seen a thing pass since she’d landed here.

  The motor continued to purr as if she were calmly driving down the highway. She wondered what her chances would be of driving out of the ditch the same way she had driven in. She reluctantly unfastened her seat belt and climbed out—and down.

  “Not likely,” she said to herself immediately. Not only was the front of her little car scrunched against the fence, but the middle was sort of hanging, propped at both ends by the ditch. The back wheels were slowly spinning in midair.

  Her second choice, since she obviously couldn’t just drive out, would be to stay with the car, inside where the heater was still working and blowing heat, until someone came along. She irritably decided that might not be wise. From where she stood, she couldn’t see the tailpipe so couldn’t be sure it wasn’t damaged or crammed with dirt or squished up against the car. If that were the case, it didn’t take a big stretch of imagination to see herself sitting in the warmth and drifting off to carbon monoxide heaven. She sighed, climbed back in long enough to turn off the ignition and grab her purse. Then she buttoned up her coat against the mild wind and started walking toward the farmhouse she could see in the hazy distance.

  Just as she finally reached the drive, a car started up it toward the road where she stood. Alicia waited to see that it was going slow then stepped out from the edge of the road, raising her hand. She thought she was hallucinating for a moment when the car jerked to a stop and Maggie hopped out of the driver’s seat.

  “Alicia!” With her knee-length coat unbuttoned and flapping in the wind, Maggie ran to Alicia’s side. “What are you doing here, hon?” She saw the bruise and her hand fluttered against Alicia’s forehead. “What happened?”

  “I hit a slick spot. My car’s in the ditch.” Alicia gestured at the whiter and whiter bump her red car made in the distance. “Do you suppose I could catch a ride with you back to town?”

  “Oh, you poor dear,” Maggie said, hustling her toward the passenger side of the car idling a few feet away. “Are you okay? Is the baby—”

  “I’m fine,” Alicia assured her. “And I feel okay—” she patted her tummy “—so I guess...” She frow
ned. “Surely I’d feel something if anything was wrong.”

  “Surely,” Maggie agreed with her, but looked her over again carefully once she had her seated inside. “That’s quite a bump,” she said worriedly.

  “But I feel fine,” Alicia said again, as much for her own sake as Maggie’s.

  Maggie hurried around to her side and slid in beneath the wheel. “Fasten your seat belt, Allie,” she ordered gently, using the name Dan called her. “Let’s get you to town.”

  Maggie drove with a combination of care and confidence. “Are you warm enough?” She watched Alicia almost as much as she watched the road.

  Alicia nodded.

  “Do you think you might have a concussion? Does your head hurt?”

  Alicia shook her head and felt the first twinge of an ache.

  “I think you might be in shock,” Maggie commented almost to herself.

  “Stunned, but I really don’t think I’m in shock except for...just the shock that it happened at all. Everything was fine, then bam, the ditch gulped my car right off the road like it was hungry,” she added wryly.

  Maggie laughed. “Okay,” she agreed. “You’ve convinced me, but I’ll feel much better when we get you to the hospital so they can verify our conclusions.”

  “Oh, no, please,” Alicia groaned. “I’m fine. Really. Please, just take me home. Besides,” she added. “It’s almost time for Dan to be home. There has to be some advantage to being married to a doctor.”

  Maggie laughed again. “You aren’t finding many so far?”

  Her laughter was musical, low, appealing. Alicia fought the urge to tell her that being married to a doctor was horrible. She couldn’t recommend it to anyone. But it wouldn’t do much good, she realized. It wouldn’t be the same when Maggie and Dan were married.

  After five months of marriage, she and Dan shared one or two meals a day and an occasional movie or dinner out. The rest of the time they kept to their own little sections of the house. So what did she know about it anyway? “It isn’t so bad,” she said noncommittally.