For Baby's Sake (Harlequin Romance) Read online

  Alicia’s teeth chattered as he tucked the blanket under her chin, smoothing out wrinkles under her arm before laying it over the top.

  Bill examined and straightened the tube leading into the needle.

  “It must be a mistake,” she said, trying to stop the shivering that continued even though she felt very warm.

  He looked at her and shook his head.

  “But I’m ...” The sentence ran out as he shook his head again.

  “I’m afraid the flu hit you pretty hard. You’re trying to miscarry.”

  Dan’s tone had been reverent when he’d said, “our baby,” and now Alicia’s eyes widened in fear. “I’m going to lose it?” she asked, devastated by the thought.

  He smiled for the first time since Dan had left the room. “You haven’t yet, and that’s a good sign. We have to keep you very quiet. Are you still cramping?”

  She frowned, trying to feel. “Mild ones,” she admitted.

  “The vomiting probably started it—the stomach muscles clenching.” He demonstrated with his fists. “If we can stop the involuntary spasms now that the flu is out of your system, we ought to be able to take you through a normal pregnancy. The spotting scared us, though.”

  She gave him a worried frown.

  “Sometimes, that’s a sign that you are going to lose the baby.” He explained. “In your case, it may be a matter of your hormones adjusting to your pregnancy. That’s not typical, but it happens sometimes in a first pregnancy. Your body hasn’t convinced itself that it’s carrying a baby yet. It means we have to be extra careful to keep you quiet until the cramping stops. It’s almost like being in labor.” He tilted his head toward her, inviting her questions.

  When she didn’t ask any, he hesitated. “I’m not sure what happened between you and Dan.” She winced. “I’m sure you’ll work everything out. He’s been out of his mind since the paramedics called him.”

  Bill lingered, leaning his short, pudgy frame against the bed. She squirmed uncomfortably under his too friendly, too fatherly concern, and wondered if she ought to ask for another doctor.

  “Uncle Bill” had been Dan’s father’s partner for almost forty years. When Dan had graduated from medical school, he’d joined the practice. Dan considered Bill almost like another father, especially after his own dad had died of a stroke four years ago. After they’d announced their engagement to his mother and sister, “Uncle Bill” had been the next on Dan’s list.

  Alicia brushed the thought of finding another doctor aside. Whatever Bill’s feeling toward her former fiance, she knew his treatment of her would be utterly professional. Besides, in this town, there wasn’t anyone else. She’d have to take him or Dan, or transfer to another hospital, another town.

  Alicia shook her head. “It would probably be best for Dan if I lost th—” She couldn’t finish. She couldn’t even think it. She stared quietly, at the mini mountain her toes poked into the blanket. She noted Bill’s quick movement out of the corner of her eye as he ran a hand across the round bald spot on the top of his head. She’d never seen him flustered.

  “You said it yourself. Dan was very concerned when they brought me in. He’s not the type to forget about the baby because we aren’t going to get married. It’s not fair—”

  “Don’t try to work everything out this minute,” Bill cautioned. “You’ve got eight months.” He meant his smile to reassure.

  “What if I’ve already damaged the baby?”

  “We’ll worry about that later. I’d say it’s unlikely.”

  The baby suddenly seemed very real. It was crazy, but she could feel it growing, gently, but steadily, and just as suddenly, she felt extremely protective of the life she and Dan had created. “Did they give me anything that might hurt the baby when they brought me in?”

  Bill smiled. “You are a worrier, aren’t you?”

  She nodded. “I just don’t like leaving anything to chance.” She couldn’t help but answer his smile.

  He sobered. “I wish I could help. I wish I could give you some guarantee. But now it’s a matter of time. We have to let Nature take its course.” Bill’s gray eyes glazed over. “Whatever happens, let Dan help you. It’s his baby, too,” he said, and rose to leave. “Shall I have him come in?”

  She shook her head, avoiding looking at his gentle face. She couldn’t bear to see if it wore a critical look. “I need some time to think.”

  As he opened the door, she caught a glimpse of Dan hovering outside. “Is Brad still here?” she asked. “I know I heard him earlier.”

  “He’s very anxious about you, too.” Bill tried a smile. “I’ll tell him you want to see him.”

  She reassured Brad and managed to send him home after he had promised to look in on her on his way to school in the morning. Finally, she could think.

  A baby. They’d wanted to wait a while to start a family. She wanted to keep her job. Dan hadn’t liked the thought of her being gone so much, but had agreed to keep on as they were for the first six months or so. Then maybe she’d do something else—or they’d consider starting a family.

  Alicia hadn’t wanted to be totally dependent on Dan. After all, you never knew what kind of curve life would throw you. She smiled grimly. It certainly had thrown her more than her share over the last couple of weeks.

  The nurse chose that moment to enter and stopped her thoughts before they drifted into really painful territory. She walked to Alicia’s bedside and checked the IV. “I thought you’d be asleep,” she said, obviously surprised to find Alicia watching her. “Do you need something for pain?”

  Alicia shook her head. The nurse checked several things, marked something on the chart at the end of the bed, then reassured Alicia with a soft pat on her flat stomach. “That little guy’s tenacious. All he needs now is a good chance. He’s going to make it.

  “Try to get some sleep,” she whispered as she left.

  Alicia wondered wearily about the small life growing inside her. How would she support it? She was sure that Dan would help, but what kind of life would that be? He would feel responsible for them; she’d be tied to him by chains that would never be broken. And the baby. Would they tear it apart with their separate lives? She felt like crying again. She’d never felt so torn between what she wanted and what was probably the best “course” for everyone concerned.

  They’d taken her watch. She wished she’d asked the nurse for it. The door opened again, and she looked up, expecting the nurse again. Dan’s head edged through the door. He straightened and came in. “I thought you’d be asleep,” he explained. “You should be.”

  She closed her eyes. Let him think she was taking his advice, she thought, but her main intention was shutting him out. She heard him pull the vinyl and metal chair close to the bed. The whoosh of air escaping from the cushion told her he’d settled in and planned to stay. Fine. She could pretend to be asleep as long as he could sit in that chair. She could feel his eyes examining her as surely as if he used his hands.

  She’d never been able to sleep lying flat on her back and started to turn over. He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. When she would have protested, he indicated the plastic IV tube, and held it aloft while she finished her turn. He repositioned it. She adjusted the pillow under her ear and closed her eyes. She heard him sit back down. Within minutes, she was asleep.

  “Dan went down to the doctor’s lounge to shower and change. He said to tell you he’d be back after he makes his rounds.”

  Just what she wanted first thing in the morning, Alicia thought as the aide finished her speech, a full report on her former fiancé.

  “I’m afraid they won’t let you eat breakfast until they’ve taken the IV out, but that doesn’t mean you won’t want to clean up a bit, I imagine. Would you like a nice warm cloth to wash your face with?” the girl asked, then brought it.

  Alicia wondered when Bill would be back. Now that everything had sunk in, she had lots of questions.

  Although she’d been working
at this hospital for the past three months, the aide’s chatter made her realize she was in enemy camp. Dan’s friends and co-workers would report anything she said or did to him. She wouldn’t be able to think clearly or figure out what she was going to do until she escaped to her own environment. She felt better than she had in three days. Maybe he would let her go home after all.

  As if called by wishing, Bill strolled in. “How’s my girl?” he asked, obviously pleased with the bright look she gave him. The nurse’s aide slipped out and closed the door behind her.

  “Did you get any rest last night?” he asked. “Janice said you were awake most of the night.” He checked the IV in her hand, pulled up one of her eyelids and looked at something, then pulled back the covers, scowled, then smiled as he replaced them. “We’re over the worst, I think.” He pulled over the chair and asked if she had any questions.

  She had millions. She was about six weeks pregnant, he told her. No, almost losing the baby didn’t necessarily mean there was something wrong with it, although often if the fetus was defective, it spontaneously aborted. Hers was brought on by her bout of flu, he thought, but later in the pregnancy, perhaps in six weeks or so, they’d do an amniocentesis. And of course, a sonogram was common practice now, but she’d have to go into Wichita for that. Barring other difficulties, she could expect a healthy baby sometime in mid-May. He shot her a wary look after that statement, then went on to answer several questions she hadn’t made it to yet.

  “Can I go home?” she asked as soon as she could get it in.

  He shook his head regretfully. “You’ll have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. You need total bed rest, and since you live alone, you’ll do better here.” He started to rise, but changed his mind and sank back into the chair, choosing his next words carefully. “Dan’s right outside. You need to talk to him.” He placed his hand over her arm. “Alicia, I want you to listen to me as a friend now. I’ve considered you a friend since Dan told me you were going to marry him.” He scowled. “Your parents are both dead, I understand.”

  She nodded.

  “And Brad is the only family you have?” He didn’t wait for her nod this time, but continued, “I’ve met him, and he’s a fine young man, but he doesn’t have children, so he can’t advise you from experience like I can. I’ve raised four of my own, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to you the way your father would if he could.”

  Alicia smiled at the suggestion that Bill Meadow’s advice would be anything similar to her father’s. He had always traveled, selling something to someone. He was more stranger than father, or even friend. He’d rarely come home, let alone offered advice to either her or Brad. Bill took the smile as permission.

  “Children can bring great joy to your life, but in exchange, there’s an incredible responsibility.” She would have interrupted but he didn’t give her the chance. “I’ve seen your work, your attention to detail. I know you’ll take that responsibility seriously. But don’t do this alone if you don’t have to.” He rubbed the top of his head as if it helped him think. “Now that there is more to consider than just the two of you, you owe it to yourself, and the baby, to at least listen to Dan.” He hesitated. “Will you talk to him?” He smiled. “I’m afraid he’s going to be useless to me today if you won’t. I might as well have Maggie cancel all his appointments and send him home. And with this flu epidemic, I sure need him.”

  All the things she should talk to Dan about faded into the background with Bill’s last words. “I sure need him.” The statement echoed in her heart and she found herself nodding in agreement.

  He was Doctor Dan, The Bandage Man. Dan had told her that had been his favorite Little Golden Book when he was a child. And he certainly had cultivated the knack of making everyone feel better. She needed to feel better now.

  “Could you have that nurse’s aide come back for a minute first?” she asked as Bill stood and went happily to the door. He smiled, whistling softly under his breath as he left.

  Bill could think what he liked. She was combing her hair and brushing her teeth, maybe putting on a little lipstick, so she wouldn’t feel at such a disadvantage when Dan came. Besides, she needed time. Time to get control of her pounding heart, and the rising sense of excitement. Up to now, she’d been trying to ignore him. She couldn’t ignore him any longer.

  CHAPTER TWO

  “HOW do you suppose this happened?” Alicia asked lightly as Dan came in. She’d been rehearsing the line for the past five minutes, hoping to sail through this with her emotions in check.

  He tensed as if she’d aimed a gun at him and she knew she was off to a bad start. He must think she blamed his failed precautions for the unplanned pregnancy. “I’m joking,” she assured him.

  Dan looked grim. “It’s not quite what we had in mind,” he conceded, pulling the chair close to the bed and sitting down.

  She pushed the button beside her, raising the head of the bed so she would be level with him. By sheer will, she kept her hand from going to her chin-length hair, which refused do anything but bunch raggedly at the back of her head.

  He moved uncomfortably. “We’ll go ahead with the wedding, of course,” he commented as if they were discussing the weather.

  Alicia’s hated his assumption that she could pretend nothing worthy of mention had happened and her face blazed, but she mentally reined her anger in. “We have other options.”

  “What did you have in mind?” He visibly worked at keeping his own control.

  “I know I’d have a few problems—like trying to support us—but I could go it alone.”

  He flinched but she went on.

  “It would be difficult at first...”

  He nodded his agreement.

  “But if you helped financially after the baby is born, I could hire a full-time housekeeper. It wouldn’t be ideal, but I don’t see why we should go ahead with a disastrous marriage.”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “You refuse to help?” Alicia asked, letting her carefully constructed mask slip slightly.

  “That’s not what I meant. I don’t think you can go on with your current job and raise a baby.”

  For a moment she didn’t know what to say. This was a courtesy discussion. He’d given up the right to express an opinion about her life the minute he’d renewed his old relationship with Maggie. She’d expected some argument, but she hadn’t considered that he might try to tell her what to do.

  “We agreed you would continue to travel until we had children. Neither of us thought it would be the kind of job you could keep while we raised a family.” His mouth tightened into a stubborn line.

  “But everything’s changed,” she protested. “We aren’t going to get married. I don’t think I could find another job that would pay what this one does.” She looked at her hands. “This baby means I have to stay with Adams and Associates.”

  “We can get married,” he reiterated softly.

  “No, we can’t.” With him refusing to consider any other option, she found herself adamantly refusing to even think about his.

  “Why?” he asked.

  “Didn’t you ever hear the saying, ‘Two wrongs don’t make a right’?”

  “I’m willing to risk it,” he answered, leaning forward on his elbows to stare at the tips of his shoes. “What makes you so sure it would be wrong?”

  She sputtered for a moment, unable to capture her thoughts in any logical order.

  “It was right two weeks ago.” Dan’s voice stroked her like velvet.

  “That was before Maggie.” She couldn’t allow herself to forget.

  “It was also before we knew you were pregnant with our baby.”

  It was the baby. All he cared about was the baby. The knife he’d cut her with twisted painfully and she let her head fall heavily to the pillow. Yet she wanted to believe he still cared a little bit for her. Everything between them couldn’t have been an act. “Tell me about Maggie.” Her lips felt pinched and drawn a
s she struggled to get the words between them. “Please explain about her.” She couldn’t catch her breath, and she panted quietly to make the nausea go away.

  “You wouldn’t listen before. Why would you believe me now?”

  She finally managed a long gulp of air. “This is getting us nowhere.” She closed her eyes.

  “I have put so many messages on your damn answering machine. If you really wanted to believe what I have to say, you would have listened before now. I promise, I’ll explain when you’re ready.”

  “When I’m ready? I haven’t been ready for any of this, but it’s all happened anyway.”

  He compressed his lips again.

  “I guess I’m lucky I found out I couldn’t trust you before we got married. I would have gone blindly on, expecting a fairy-tale ‘and they-lived-happily-ever-after’ life.”

  “I found out a few truths myself.” His words had a sharp edge.

  He acted like he’d been betrayed. Well, he had no say in this matter and it was time he figured that out. “I haven’t had time to work everything out yet, but if I have this baby, and if you help financially, I’ll see that you get the normal father’s rights.”

  “What do you mean?” His eyes narrowed as he rose and towered over the bed.

  She lifted her nose arrogantly. “I mean if I don’t miscarry, I might let you know some of the decisions I make.”

  His fists curled into tight balls. His voice was quiet as the eye of a storm. “It is my baby?”

  Her hand flew automatically toward his face. He grabbed it in midair.

  She gasped as the needle in her arm jabbed her.

  “Dammit, Allie,” he sighed. “You shouldn’t try to hit someone when you have an IV.” He examined the IV’s point of entry into her arm. “Did Bill say when he was going to have this taken out?” He frowned at her shrug. “What am I going to do with you?” The tender note in his voice saddened her. She turned her head away from him.

  “I know it’s my baby. I’m sorry. But why wouldn’t you want my help? Let me take care of you until it’s born, then if you’d rather, I would even take complete cust—”